I’ve been giving myself a hard time with how I look, how I feel and where I’m headed. It stinks being the heaviest I’ve ever been and the most out of shape, at such a time when all I want to do is play and toss Miles up in the air to make him giggle (but I’ve got such wrist/back pain and he’s a heavy guy).
I’ve been nervous to run, even though I’ve done it a few times now without discomfort.
I love how I feel after I lift weights, but my mind stops me in my tracks from getting started.
After reading this, I’m sure it has more to do with being afraid of not reaching my goals than actually enjoying the process.
What if I don’t reach that magical weight by the holidays? What if, what if, what if?
Then I don’t even bother. I talk myself out of everything.
So, I stopped last night to think about my life in 2002-2003. Within those years, I spent a good portion of them working out, eating right and lost 25 pounds slowly. I remember the journey fondly, but the end result and life thereafter doesn’t stick out as much for me.
Something clicked. The journey is the part I loved and talk about all.the.time. The experience was more important to me than the goal. The end result was great, but then it became every day life.
I’m thankful to remember to bask in the glow of the experience, not seek the end result so much.
It’s not about how far I run, how long it took or if I’ll ever be the ultramarathoner I believe I could be.
I gave birth without drugs while in labor for four days, what’s a few hundred miles? 😉
It’s about the experience in each run. Taking time to care for me. Clearing my mind.
The journey is the most enjoyable, the goal is just a bonus.
::sigh:: Another sign to give up goals…
Chris knows that I’ve been tossing up the idea of dropping goals altogether and he even teases me as I create goal after goal.
Maybe it’s time to give up goal setting and just live life from experience to experience?
I’m thankful there is so much support online to encourage my constant personal growth.
BTW, I love this little guy and miss him so much! I’m spending time with my mom for a few days taking care of her while she recovers from neck fusion surgery. Daddy is playing Mr. Mom while I’m away!