Overcoming the fear of our future (home).

I’m a little torn.

We’ve had our home on the market and it appears it won’t be selling soon enough in this economy that is slower than molasses. Since it’s been on the market we’ve gone back and forth about locations we would like to live, house sizes we’re interested in, buying old or building new, and land that is available. We’ve slowly started to narrow our focus, but just when I think I’ve got it all worked out in my head… it changes.

My heart wants a small house with a big yard closer to the beach. Something cozy, comfortable, low cost to pay off, and easy to take care of so that we can travel often and see the world.

On the other hand, I want something much bigger, with another bedroom or two, a garage, a family area, a space to put a treadmill as well as an office, though it doesn’t fit nicely into my one-income focused budget.

I’m torn about moving on and fear the future. It feels like the worst time and the best time all wrapped up in one. I wonder… Where will we end up? When will this all happen; this month or in two years? What will the next home be like? Will I ever live to see the day? Will I miss this place?

While I’m afraid that the future might be worse than the present (which is pretty ridiculous if you know the stories of our neighborhood) I’m optimistic that it will be much more amazing when we are settled somewhere new. When the fear creeps in I try to remember all that we’ve learned and overcome in the past eight years. We’ve come a long way from our first home purchase and have a lot more knowledge and things to look for in a new home.

When we’re fearful it’s easy to feed the fear and help it grow. I’m a super expert at that. Now, when I realize I have fear I like to ask myself a few main questions to accept the fear, acknowledge it, and then strip it’s powers away.

  • What’s the worst that can happen?
  • And what then?
  • And then what?
  • And then…

Finally, once I’ve exhausted the last possible worst-case scenarios and realized short of dying that it isn’t as bad as I thought, I ask myself to look at what the best case scenario would be.

Reality always ends up somewhere in between, more often than not closer to the best case scenario.

Just one fear… but oh boy, I’ve got many. It feels so close, yet so very far away. Some days it just doesn’t feel like it’ll come together. Other days it feels too soon.

What are you afraid of right now?


p.s. I have a lot of photography work coming up this fall and I cannot wait to share it with you 🙂