Grieving and a beautiful black butterfly.

This year has been very trying at times, especially going through the grieving process for someone I cared a lot about. When we’re left behind, there is not always a rhyme or a reason as to why. I struggle at times through the process of letting go and trying to find the good in it all.

One way that has helped me, has been finding the person’s spirit in another living body. It kind of came about in it’s own way several years ago and it’s hard to explain when it happens to me.

After my Dad passed, I saw a red Cardinal outside our back door every single day for about a month. We lived there for three and a half years prior and I never saw it once. From that day on, I’ve seen a red Cardinal almost every time I’ve felt the need for a connection or to talk to my Dad. That first time, I felt his presence. He drove a red convertible for many years, the car he loved and talked about often. It just kind of fit.

When a good family friend, Papa Rich, passed away, it was a Blue Jay. One showed up on our back porch in the — winter. I saw it often from then on, it even built a nest. Papa Rich drove a blue van for many of my childhood years. It was the one thing I associated with him, and when I first saw the Blue Jay with the Cardinal, it was like – the two of them were together.

More recently, I’ve been seeing beautiful black butterflies since my cousin Melissa passed away. She’s been on my mind fairly frequently this summer. Melissa was much like a butterfly, and she always, almost always, wore all black. She was super fashion-forward and I loved it. I was at my Aunt’s house one day, thinking about Melissa when a black butterfly just sat there and let me get close to it for a few minutes. It was such a strange feeling.

I’ve seen butterflies before in the butterfly museum in Ft. Lauderdale and they are usually flighty and don’t stay anywhere long. This one stuck around. Butterflies are so beautiful, yet they have a very short life of about two weeks. To me, this butterfly was a symbol of her still being present in our lives, just from afar. I’ve seen it several times now, even at our new home.

It’s hard to explain, and I’m sure I sound like a complete weirdo, but for me connecting with those I’ve lost in another way has been helpful in the healing process. I rarely look out for these birds or butterflies, but when I have a thought in my mind, they seem to appear at exactly the right moment.

Maybe it’s something, maybe it’s not. I’ll not know for hopefully some time to come.

Have you ever had a similar experience?

– kn –