My mom always told me growing up, “you should never ask a woman if she is going to have children, when she plans to get pregnant, or if she is pregnant.”
I can distinctly remember two times I ever uttered those words to another, the first time was to a cousin when I was a tween, which my mom told me why that isn’t the right thing to say. She said, “you never know what someone may be struggling with, and it’s none of your business.” The second time, which Chris corrected me on, was when his cousin’s wife was clearly beautifully pregnant and they weren’t bringing it up to see what we’d say. I took a chance on that one!
Chris used to ask me why it’s not a topic of conversation, so I explained to him years ago what my mom told me. He understood and catches me if I start to get close to asking those kinds of questions of anyone. What a good husband!
A few friends have openly shared their pregnancy journeys with me, fertility problems and more. I appreciate their openness, because I’ve learned so much. I have always told them (or thought to myself) no matter what they share, I won’t ask about it. They are free to share what they’d like, but if not, it’s none of my business.
I never understood how much those kinds of questions could be stressful to deal with, even though they are often meant in a lighthearted way, until more recently.
When Chris and I first got married, we were asked or prodded with those questions often, it just seemed to be a norm I could ignore. Now, as I have a son who is 2 1/2 years old, it seems to be the standard question when someone (anyone) finds out I already have a child, “When’s the next one? Are you planning to have more?” And then they stare at my stomach and wonder if I’m hiding something or when the big announcement will come.
I’m not hiding anything, ha. I’m just a little pudgy from having Miles and working to whittle that down. I’m chubby and happy to just get back to healthy 🙂
Have you ever found yourself asking someone about their family planning? Those decisions are completely personal and believe me, if someone wanted to share, they definitely will – cause I’ve heard it all 😉 even when I haven’t asked!
I’m also not sure when we’ll have another, so I’m not sure I can answer that constant question that seems to arise on a regular basis these days. Is there a specific age gap required? What is the best way to answer anyway? I’m new to this stage of life…
I’d like to respond that my uterus fell out from running, but then that’d mean MiMa was right when she warned me ten years ago that my uterus would fall out from all the running I do.
Has anyone’s uterus fallen out from running? Maybe I lost mine awhile ago, I mean I have lost lipgloss and a variety of other things on the run.
– kn –