No one will push you.

I’ve come to realize that no one is going to push me to make my dreams come true, no matter how much I’d like someone to throw me in a stroller and run a marathon with me relaxing comfortably within under a warm blanket. Though, that would be pretty awesome if that was my first “marathon” experience. Could it be a yellow stroller if you’re thinking of helping me out?

In rejoining the gym, I have high hopes for myself. When don’t I have high hopes for myself? Hmmm, just about never. I’m always searching, reaching, pushing, and pulling. Whew, I’m exhausted.

I have this burning desire, the higher power only knows why, to complete a marathon. Maybe not even just one marathon, but several. Maybe even several in a year. Heck, why not go further… I know I can do it. I gave birth, remember that? Hahaha.

Yet, my body seems to fight me, or maybe it’s my mind.

Ah, I can never tell these days. My mind, body, and everything in-between is on the fritz, going haywire, yelling…. no more drama!

Oh wait, that’s what Mary J. says. I’m usually yelling “no more winter” every fall right after daylight savings time ends, the weather turns brisk, and the lights go out. I’ve just about lost my mind again this fall – ah, it’s not even winter…. gulp… yet.

Last time I shared my big hairy goal with you to run a marathon and the fact that I paid cold hard cash to torture myself, I ended up injured and didn’t even complete the half marathon I signed up for months ahead of time. Geez-weasels. I hate wasting money.

So, this time I’m not telling you when, what, where ahead of time… but you’ll be able to figure it out, because you know me. You know how I am. I’m cra-to-the-zee.

I like a challenge, but not too much. I’ve also been googling things like “how to run a marathon with no training”… but I’m not that daring or athletic. Or am I?

This week, I ran a whopping 2 miles in one shot. That’s pretty big for this lady. I haven’t run in weeks, and when I’ve attempted a run, I’ve ended up with a run/walk/walk/walk. I’ve been sticking safely to the bike, cycling away watching Dr. Phil and realizing life isn’t so terrible after all. I could be on Dr. Phil.

After my run, I felt like a different person. I was even considering 5am workouts again. Yeah, I felt that good. Of course, my tendonitis is flaring as I’m typing, but whew, I’ll beat that monster back with The Stick.

Next year, I’m making it a year. A year of what, well I’ve got time to figure that out. But, I can tell you what… I’m not holding back. I’m not giving up. And I need your help and support. I’m here, I’m trying, but man, it’s a struggle.

I’m going to write whenever I feel like it, any time of the day, share photos or not share photos, I’m going to thrash, I’m going to run, lift, and splash (in the pool!) – but I’m going to do my very best not to give up on myself or my goals. English teachers: avoid your eyes on that last sentence, I’ve always been very bad with commas.

No one’s going to push me… right? Are you sure I can’t convince you?

I’m looking forward to a snowy trail run, just not too soon!

– kn –