I feel like I’m pulling at straws this week to choose what to be thankful for. Life isn’t as bad as it could be, but it’s not as amazing either. It just is. It’s been a long drawn out week, a lot on my mind; a down week. Maybe it’s the weather. The heat was getting to me, but this chill I could do without. What happened to seasons, where it slowly warmed up or cooled down?
The baby is growing well. I’m not getting in as much trouble for my weight (I’m actually 10lbs less than I was the first time at this stage and thinking the activity of the summer might slow the gain). My appetite has diminished most days, but sometimes I’m just ravenous.
I’ve been seeing mostly the same midwife, as it happens to work out that way, and she was the one who took care of my pre-term labor issue. At first, we didn’t connect well, but she’s been very thorough and caring, explaining a lot that I never experienced before and taking her time with me. I appreciate it, as this go around, I don’t have to tell you, has been far different than the first.
The baby guy’s head is in the down position (as it has been for weeks) and most likely will stay that way for the next 11 weeks (or less!!). He’s facing front kicking and punching me from all angles, keeping me up at night, and he definitely loves it when I eat. Tight clothes, not so much. But who likes tight clothes anyway?
With my first, it took me awhile to feel the sensations and know the difference, or to even figure out direction or body parts. This time around, by 12 weeks I knew the flutters, and I can tell you when it’s a fist or a foot, where the booty is and his head. He’s still got a little room in there, but not much and it’s going to be a tight squeeze soon enough.
This week, I’m thankful for Ruby. She seems to know when I’m struggling and sticks even closer to my side. It’s somewhat annoying at times, but when I’m deep in thought, she makes her way right on my lap (normally she isn’t pushy like Bambi was and will just sit to the side), pushing her head into my hand for a pet.
It’s like she wants to distract me and comfort me at the same time. Or… she just likes being petted. Either way, I’m thankful for her tenderness, unconditional love, and her joy every day when I walk through the door. At least someone is super happy to see me even when I’m a grump.
The past year and a half have been so full of change, I’m hoping to one day get back to “our” normal. I miss our townhouse, our old routines, the small space, and all the projects being done. I don’t miss the neighborhood or location, but I miss being out there in our own little world. The security, the safety of the “usual” was nice.
We haven’t been here a year yet, and I know it takes time, but eventually, we’ll get back into “our” normal lifestyle and routines once again, with new opportunities for enjoyment. Paddle-boarding is one such thing that has come to my attention this week through a suggestion instead of investing in a kayak… We’ll see, I’ve got a year to decide.
– kate –